Why is this so hard?

I am off of school right now and have very little responsibilities as my children are now at an age they can mostly take care of themselves. Yet, I am having the hardest time getting motivated to blog. I think it is because I am boring, or maybe it is because I am lazy. Or maybe it is a combination of both.

When I started this blogging thing my hopes were to use it to get things off of my mind since I tend to toss and turn all night long because of what I call "thinkhead." It seems to not matter how tired I am or how late it is I always toss and turn. It makes me so mad since I swear my husband begins to snore before his head even hits the pillow. Why is it so easy for him to fall asleep? It has to be something about all the testosterone men have or something. All I know is I have had bad thoughts of things I could do to torture him to keep him awake with me instead of snoring beside me.

Kidding...well...sort of!

So this is a mental kick in the butt to myself. Time to get going on this blog thing and all the randomness it entails.

Damn the freaking Brady Bunch!!

Growing up I used to watch the Brady Bunch. I used to race home in order to watch it, grab my afternoon snack and do homework in front of the televison to watch the life of the Brady's.

It wasn't the interaction of the parents that drew me in. Nor was it the kids and they "Gee Whizzes!" and "Gollies!" that I fell in love with. Oh no! The draw to the Brady family was deeper than that for sure!

THEY HAD A MAID!!!!

A real maid. She cooked, she did laundry, she carried groceries in, she went to the meat market (Where she met Sam the Butcher!!) and even solved the children's problems! She was the bomb! If you ask me, she was the Oprah Winfrey or Dr. Phil of my time! She had the answer to everything and she freaking cleaned!!

Seriously, who did not want an Alice? Hell, I still want an Alice!! Where is my Alice? I bet that Marcia has one! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!

How do you not want to hug and kiss your babies when you read things like this?

I am a full-time student. I am pursuing my bachelor's degree in criminal justice with a minor in sociology. Eventually (if I get brave enough) I will pursue a master's degree also. The purpose of my degree plan is so I can fight for tougher laws to protect our children. I think child sexual predators need to be imprisoned for life on the first offense. Most will tell you they cannot control themselves and they will reoffend once they are set free. Unfortunately they usually escalate their offenses until someone's child pays the ultimate price and dies! It pisses me off!

BUT...

Then I read stories like these Angela Mann Undergoes Psychiatric Evaluation and Texas Police Say Woman Kills Baby Eats Brain and I realize some of these poor children need protection from their own mothers!

WHAT ON EARTH WERE THESE WOMEN THINKING? Seriously! I suffered from post partum depression when I gave birth to my daughter. I recognized I had an issue. I went to the doctor. I got pills. I got happy. How on earth could these women harm their own babies? I do not get it. I am not sure I can ever understand what made them break, I am not sure I would ever want to understand what made them break.

I just want to protect all these babies and children. They are our future. Someday they will be our leaders. They need stability, happiness, nurturing, caring homes...they should not have to worry about their own parents harming them. I wish I knew how to save them all! It pisses me off that I have no clue how to save even one!

I love reading other mom's blogs...

I think it is because I can use it as a measuring stick against my crazy life here in Florida. Or maybe it is because it makes me feel like I am normal when I see other moms deal with so many of the same issues I deal with on a day to day basis. Or it could be as simple as I would love to be as cool as some of these other ladies who can write with such confidence and wit. Either way I have discovered a new addiction.

I sometimes find myself still awake at 2 a.m. reading blogs. Last night I discovered The Spohrs are Multiplying and read page after page of posts regarding the loss of their daughter Maddie. I sat here and cried like a baby, as if it were a best friend of mine who lost her child. I read about Maddie and looked at her pictures, watched videos and wept. Heather writes so openly and honestly I can feel her pain, her sadness, her anxiety as I read her words. I hate she has had to suffer as she has and I will pray that she remains healthy through her new pregnancy and her and her husband, Michael, will find healing! She doesn't know me but prayers from anyone, even a complete stranger, never hurt! Either way, I think you should read her blog. Please join me in my new addiction.

Oh and join me here at my blog as I begin this whole blogging journey. I may actually figure this out someday!